Lessons from Kona

It’s fair to say that my race in Kona didn’t go as I’d planned or hoped. As a result I’ve resisted posting much (anything!) about it.

I encourage all of my athletes to share their experience after every race because it often helps both them and others when we go through the process of reflection.

When it’s the single biggest race of your career it feels like there’s a lot more to process. Especially when the reality doesn’t match the expectation. You spend so much time asking yourself “why?” and receiving few, if any answers, and instead come up with a whole heap of speculation, what ifs and maybes.

So rather than write a full race report, I thought I’d share some lessons I learned from the race and in trying to work through the questions I asked myself afterwards.

Be honest about your goals - Before the race if anyone asked me what my goal or target was, I would simply say “to finish”. But in reality I had some internal goals I was hoping for. So if my response was an honest one, I shouldn’t have been disappointed. If you make sure you have some realistic goals that you say out loud, it will make it much easier for people to understand if you don’t make them.

Focus on the positives - Rarely is a race 100% negative! It’s highly likely that there would have been some good spots, so take time to think about them. For me the swim was absolutely my favourite part. And those who know me will probably be surprised at that! The night before the race, my friend asked if I had any rough timings for the day. I said the only thing I would put a time on was the swim because after that, anything could happen. I said if I came out in 1 hour 20 (remember it’s a non-wetsuit ocean swim so I’d been told to expect slower than my wetsuit times) then that would be an exceptionally good swim for me. So I said between 1h 20-1h 30 would make me happy. During the race, I knew I was having a good swim. I could just feel it. And when I got out and saw 1h 20 on my watch (I was 1h 20m 41s to be precise) I was stoked.

On the bike I felt good on the way out, especially on the dreaded climb up to the turn at Hawi. I felt things were going OK, and maybe they were (although my power data begs to differ a little). I was riding steady. Everything felt achievable and I was enjoying the ride. I was allowing myself to soak up the experience - and what an experience it was! I also loved the descent from Hawi. I was flying - as you can tell from the photo above! I had no fear of putting the hammer down on that downhill and was flying past several women taking it much more cautiously.

I also didn’t quit. That “run” was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. When I got off the bike my legs felt utterly bereft of energy. There was literally nothing in them. I had struggled with my nutrition in the latter third of the bike so probably was way under on carbs and calories. But there was never a single consideration given to stopping. I was off the bike and I had plenty of time in the bank. I just focused on the theme of this year’s World Champs. “Holomua”. Simply meaning “Moving Forward”. And that was what I kept focusing on. And I did it.

It’s OK to be disappointed - I’ll admit it. I was pretty distraught. There were tears. On more than one occasion. I even had to choke some back on the night as I walked (yes, walked) over multiple timing mats and thinking about how disappointing I was to everyone following me back home. Of course no one following me was thinking that at all. But it’s how I felt about things. At the end of the day you have your hopes, dreams and expectations and when they don’t happen, you’re entitled to feel whatever you like. What it made me realise is that my usual response to someone else in a similar position is to try and make them feel positive. You know the automatic response. “But you did so well/you were amazing/you’re an inspiration” When someone is feeling the exact opposite of that, those phrases can actually make them feel worse. I often felt like people were invalidating my feelings. Not intentionally of course. No one intends that. But it has definitely made me more mindful of how I talk to people in a similar situation.

I had made improvements - As much as I was disappointed in the overall result, my most recent race to compare to was IronMaori Toa the previous December. Kona was virtually a carbon copy of my times at Toa, give or take 5 minutes. But the race variables were so much harder: much tougher terrain and elevation on both the bike and the run, the heat and humidity, even just the effects of travel, meant that the result was an improvement over what I did 10 months earlier. And that is worth something.

Your usual nutrition strategy doesn’t always work in different conditions - OK, I probably made one of the most obvious mistakes in prep for Kona by not practicing a specific nutrition strategy and relied on what I’d done previously. I didn’t get specific about calorie, carb and electrolyte consumption when I possibly should have. And I certainly didn’t account for the hotter conditions.

I know that potatoes get harder to eat in the heat, but still insisted on trying to use them as my main form of fuel. This could have been part of my downfall as they became very difficult to eat about two-thirds of the way into the bike and my stomach started to complain. I could have anticipated this and tried to adapt my strategy to account for it. By the time things started to go south, I was finding it hard to stomach much, and this continued onto the run.

It’s also very hard to practice nutrition if you don’t train in those conditions. It’s so hard to know how the heat and humidity will impact your body, and what you can or can’t consume, as you don’t have the chance to do big, long training sessions in advance. So I just had to deal with what my body dealt me on the day.

I regret not celebrating at the finish line

Celebrate finishing - whether you’re happy or not! - Those finish line photos can’t be re-done. You only get one shot. And one of my biggest regrets is not making the most of that opportunity. The look on my face is one of immense relief and also abject disappointment.

But I’d just completed Kona FFS! What was I thinking?

The truth is you aren’t thinking. After that amount of effort, you are literally just doing. Like I said earlier. I was Holomua. That is all my brain and body could cope with at the time. And I just wanted to finish.

I had emptied the tank (in fact I’d probably emptied it way before reaching Ali’i Drive and had been running on empty for a long time) so I couldn’t ask any more of myself.

I remembered to listen for my finish chute song! - My favourite piece of advice from before my first Ironman was "“listen for the song playing when you come down the finish chute, because that song will forever remind you of the achievement”. And it’s something I swear by.

It helps you remain present in the moment too. To soak it in.

As I reached the red carpet and hoardings on Ali’i Drive, “Let’s Get Loud” by Jennifer Lopez started banging out. It felt like a great song to finish to. Hell I even managed a little dance along the carpet (how my legs summoned up the energy is a question I can’t answer!). It’s not a song I hear much these days but it sure as hell will bring back goosebumps for me.

There are some things you can’t control so be kind to yourself - A couple of things came to light after the event that could have impacted my performance, without me knowing at the time. So no matter how hard I was on myself on the day, I' couldn’t have done anything about these.

It’s likely I had covid. I started getting symptoms the morning after and ended up with really bad cold and flu symptoms for the next 3-4 days. I didn’t have any tests with me (and wasn’t paying exhorbitant Hawaii prices for one). But whatever it was, the virus was in my system on race day and my body was already starting to fight it which would have taken something out of me.

Thanks to being a woman of a certain age in the throes of perimenopause, I was in the middle of a completely random and atypical (for me) menstrual cycle. I think I was on day 71 and had no idea where I was in terms of my hormonal phase. As it turned out, my period arrived two days after the event, and if you know anything about female physiology and sports performance, that’s the worst possible timing.

Am I still disappointed?

Honestly, I’m not. Having the chance to look back I can see that, while I didn’t achieve the goals I hadn’t actually admitted I had, I was still part of a historic event. I had the most amazing experience and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It taught me so much about myself, about racing and about coaching others who might be in the same boat.

Would I do it again?

On the night I was having a very intense internal conversation. I was so dismayed with how I was going I was determined to give up on the full distance, let alone any future World Champs intentions.

But in the subsequent days, I liken my mental state to the stages of grief. And I quickly reached the “anger” stage! This led to a determination to do better. Make myself stronger. And to prove that I haven’t “lost it” (if I ever had it!). And within a couple of weeks I’d signed up for my next full distance race (Challenge Roth in July).

As for Kona. Now the dust has settled, I can say that I would love to do it again. One day. If I had the chance to qualify again.. And maybe I’ll let the bank balance recover a bit more as well!